Saturday, October 9, 2010


There is no getting around the fact that everything is about to change for Doug and I. EVERYTHING. I try to imagine what it will be like when we have our little boy to consider before we do anything. When date nights out become a thing of the past (though we are planning on adopting a "date night in" policy), when a stroller or carrier and diaper bag become our new accessories. Everything is going to be different, and I find this third trimester has been all about getting used to the changes. No longer able to make commitments for any time beyond the present, we can be heard answering "maybe, it just depends on the baby" when asked to make plans or commit to anything.

For me, the changes have been gradually coming over the past 8 months. Physically, I am changing in more ways than I can count. Little changes have popped up from the very beginning of pregnancy. Now, they are more obvious (hello, belly!). This past month I've been thinking about making more drastic changes. Changes that I can control.

Doug has been making his own changes, as well. Whether he acknowledges the timing of his physical changes with the timing of this big life change or not is beside the point. He's growing a full beard. I like the way he looks with the beard, and he said he wanted to look a little older. Now that he's approaching fatherhood and his 30th birthday, I think he's feeling the same way I am.

All these changes are coming and we can't control them!

Here I sit, with dye in my hair, waiting the alloted time before I can rinse it out. The other day I took a good look at myself in the mirror and I thought, "where the heck did all those gray hairs come from?" Sure, there were only a handful. It's not as though all my hairs are turning silver. First it was just one or two. I laughed as I pointed them out to people. But then I realized they've been multiplying, and now they didn't need to be pointed out. They were there without a doubt. In an effort to take some control over the changes my body is making (without my permission, I might add), I'm dying the gray out of those suckers. And in a week or two, I think I'm going to go get a hair cut. I need it anyway, but I think I'm in the mood to make some controlled changes. To prove to myself that even though everything is changing and I can't stop it, there are still SOME changes that I am in charge of. :)

Usually, I love change. And even now, I am anxious for this baby boy to be born, to see first hand what changes his life bring to our day-to-day lives. I find change to be thrilling in the way it upsets the "norm". But lately I'm not liking the fact that I really have no control over the changes happening to me and all around me. It's okay, it's nothing an $8 box of hair dye can't handle.

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